Freckles...Chapter 2

A crinkled bag was held tightly in her hand, the padding footfalls fell quietly up the steps to the house. The door shut seemingly by itself. The soft sounds of coats being shed. The clink of the coat hangers adjusting to the movement made by the coats being lifted on top of them was the only sound heard in the house.

Desmin walked up the stairs to her room and lay on the soft bed. The ceiling, a cream white, stared back at her as if it held no answers for her. She spread out her hand and felt the softness of the comforter. As she rubbed it back and forth, Desmin felt a comfort as she drifted off into a calm ocean of nothingness. She floated away from everyone. The quiet waves splashed against her cheeks. Her heartbeat quieted and her chest rose and fell with the calm of the ocean.

Then it boiled over unto stark white stove. “Oh shit!” she said as she hurried over to take if off the burner. “Shit, shit, shit!” Taking it off, she lowered her head and sighed the deepest sigh she had ever sighed. Her shoulders dropped down and her body lay over the counter next to the stove. Then she boiled over. It was going to harder than she had expected. The tears came down from her eyes and fell on the counter. Her arched back eventually fell and her legs bent and gave out. She hunched next to the counter on the floor. Her spirit fell with her body. Tabitha was trying to keep up for strength. She wanted to be strong for her lost friend and her goddaughter. The outside world viewed Tabitha as such a strong woman that could take anything. She wanted to be seen as strong like the trees that grew outside the house. They could weather anything, why couldn’t she? Tabitha had been strong, but this was the thing that brought her down to the depths. With no one to really lean on what was she going to do. Would she become the support that Desmin needed—that she needed?

She curled up against her knees and hugged them. She wished it was a person instead of her knees. Tabitha could feel her heart beat against her ribcage. It was constant as a drum. The beat beat inline with her heart beat and as the drumming continued. It softened and as it softened she gasped! She realized she had not been breathing.

She looked at the floor and her hand grasped the counter above her. She lifted herself up and gradually came to a standing position. She patted and smoothed out her clothes with the flat palm of her hand.  She turned her body to the project on hand. The noodles sat in the water with oil floating on the top. She reached above her and grabbed the strainer from the cupboard above her. She felt weaker, but she had to get up and going because she didn’t want her goddaughter to see her like that. Again she renewed the resolve to be strong, if not for herself, but for her Desmin.

Desmin must be upstairs sleeping. There were only two places where Desmin could usually be found: on her bed or on the bench outside in the backyard. She only came downstairs to eat or cross the house to reach the backdoor to go outside. 

Tabitha strained the noodles and put them back into the pan. She bent down and opened the small fridge and got out the pasta sauce and poured in over the noodles. Then having mixed it completely together, she opened the oven to check on the breaded chicken. The savory scent rose out of the open oven in a plume of delicious air. It made Tabitha smile. It was amazing that a smell could do that. I guess it brought feeling from a long time ago when her mom would cook in the house she grew up in. It always smells of something very good. Scent was tied to emotion for her. You know when you get the feeling  of déjà vu from a smell and you are instantly transported for a specific time and place. That was the best blessing she could receive that day. Something so simple and seemingly unassociated with anything made her smile. 

She continued her work of taking the chicken out and plating the spaghetti noodles with the freshly cooked breaded chicken. She set the two plates on the small informal dining table across from one another. Tabitha slowly climbed the stairs. She knocked and then opened the door.

Laid across the bed with her limbs spread out sleeping was a delicate doll with fiery red hair curling in every direction. The pale face peaceful and motionless, dotted with freckles across her nose and scattered everywhere else intermittently. Tabitha shifted her weight to one hip and crossed her arms. It was like she was staring at a work of art—a painting that displayed an immense tranquility. She was hesitant to wake the girl, but it was time to eat.

She gently touched the girl’s shoulder and said, “Desmin, it’s time to wake up, honey. It’s time to eat.”

The lovely girl roused slowly and sighed as she further stretched out her limbs and then brought them into her body again. She curled up and didn’t want to be roused. Again, her godmother gently shook the girl’s shoulder. She raised her body up and sleepily looked at Tabitha.

“Dinner is ready. Please wash your hand and come down to eat. Thank you, dear.”

Tabitha stepped down every step for the stairs and wash her hands herself and waited for the girl to appear there.

 She rested her head on her hand, propped up with her elbow on the table.

Desmin washed her hands and took every step, counting them on the way down.

In her mind: “One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve” and as she reached the landing at the bottom.

Tabitha saw her there standing on the bottom on the stairs. It reminded her of her dear lost fiend. She quickly looked down to hide her feelings.

 

Desmin came to sit down and they began to eat in silence. Each lost in their own thoughts—thinking about the same person.

Each bite they took was like the ticking on the clock. When Desmin had finished half her plate, the sound of the fork as it clinked on the plate, and Tabitha looked up from her also half finished plate. “Are you done already?”

She nodded. “Well, I am done, too. It’s time to take your new medicine.” Desmin continued sitting on chair, looking onto her godmother walking over to the cupboard, pulling out the medicine. Tabitha put the medicine on the granite countertop. Reaching over and up, she pulled a cup from the adjoining cupboard. The hinges creaked open and she heard the clank of the Tabitha’s ring against the glass. Desmin’s eyes went wide. Something in the sounded reminded her of something that she couldn’t pin down.

The rush of water into the cup set her heart rate running. Another thing she couldn’t pin down. Tabitha brought over the medicine and the glass of cold tap water. “Here you go, dear.” Desmin slowly picked up the glass and swallowed the pills down with water. They got caught in her throat and she went wide-eyed again. Tabitha looked at her wide-eyed, with concern, as well. Sputtering, Desmin drank the choke down with the rest of the glass of water. Finally, her throat calmed down and she returned to normal. Maybe death was too far away from anyone. Maybe it was right behind you or all around you all the time.

.

“Are you okay?”

 Desmin nodded a ‘yes’.

“Do you want to take a walk together outside?”

 Desmin nodded a ‘yes’.

“Okay, let’s get our coats on and take our walk.” 

They put on their coats and headed out the door. Tabitha locked the door behind them. There was quite the estate outside with a wide garden and grounds. She had two lawn and grounds maintenance people to take care of the vast estate. Down at the lower end there was a large pond.

The air seemed brisker, but not quite freezing yet. Again there was a silence that augmented the cold air. Desmin did not feel very cold herself, but Tabitha felt the chill the air had to offer. They walked in step together through the grounds. Desmin looked up at her and took her hand. Tabitha was surprised by this, but moreover, she was happy. It brought a smile to her face. The first real interaction that they had had felt really nice. It felt like home. It felt right. She realized that she wasn’t walking anymore. She shook her head and they continued on together walking hand in hand. 

They walked down the hill to the side of the house. The lovely trees with various shades scattered the lawn.  Down the hill there seemed to a collection of tree congregating on the bottom. It was if they were huddled together, keeping close to stay warm. They walked through the collection of trees. IT was Desmin’s time to stop. She looked up at the trees as she stopped. She left go of her godmother’s hand. As her hands fell by her side, hanging there, she saw how beautifully the branches reached up into the sky.  It was an amazing sight.

Tabitha looked up, too. She normally did not take the time to look at the beauties of nature. As they both stood there looking up at the tree, the sound and sputtering of an engine echoed through the property. As the same time, they both looked over at the origin of the noise. A bright blue metal shined into their eyes. A single driver sat upright in the front seat, but his personage was too far away to be seen, but Tabitha immediately knew who it was. Tabitha quickly took Desmin’s hand—grabbing a little too tightly. She almost ran up to the house, through the small sylvan of trees and back up the grassy hill. 

She blinked as she was dragged along by Tabitha’s hand. She was stumbling. Her feet could keep up.  She must have caught herself from falling at least five times.

‘Why is she rushing so much? This person must be very important to her. My arm hurts! What is going on? I want to go to my room when we get into the house.’

“We need to hurry,” Tabitha almost whispered breathlessly.  Her heart was pounding, her chest rising and falling rapidly, sputtering out hot breathe in between each rise and fall. Her cheeks turned red with the extra exertion.  The man got out of the car. His tall figure was graceful, yet strong stood there leaning against the car.

He had a particular look and air about him.  His wide eyes were searching and penetrating under a dark thick brow. His ruffled dark hair fell just above his eyes in thick curls. His thin face with chiseled jaw line with a dark scruff ended his face nicely. It caught her off guard every time. They both reached the side of the blue car where he standing, leaning against the car. He looked at Tabitha and then down at the little girl she was holding hands with. His expression was one of puzzlement, then humor. He knew she wasn’t the type to care for or raise children. He put it on his list of things to ask her when they were alone and he knew that they would be alone. Mark could always get her alone, right where he wanted her. They had a history together over many years—since they were in college together. It had been a passionate love affair that both of them had sometimes regretted and sometimes missed. After their final break-up, 6 months ago, she had not expected him there. Mark had only been in Tabitha’s dreams since their break-up. They had been intense and so real that to see him in real life was almost dreamlike.

“Mark, I am surprised you are here. I will be with you in a moment. Please follow us inside and we will talk soon.”

“Okay, if you say so.” he said.

Desmin looked at both of them and knew there was something more. He was not to be trusted and Tabitha was not to be trusted with him. She had quickly grown to mistrust others, especially the adults around her. Her mother had left her without a word, without a warning. What if this man whisked her away, too.  She had had affection before and now, more than ever, she needed, craved stability. That is what she wanted very much.

They all walked into the house. Tabitha then realized that she had a tight grip still on her goddaughter’s hand. She let go. Without a word, Desmin took off her coat and gave it Tabitha and then walked upstairs alone by herself. With every step on the stairs her heart fell. She went to her room down the hallway to the right. Desmin opened the door and sat down at the desk in front of the window. She cranked the drawer open and as she did the pencils and pens rolled around seemingly sporadically. Their rattle stopped, quieted after a few seconds. She reached her delicate hand into the drawer and pulled out a long black pen and some plain writing paper. The paper was recycled paper bound together in a twine-threaded notebook with an olive green cover with a picture of a circus walrus with a fanned collar on it. It seemed very random. These things, her godmother had purchased for her at the town’s stationary store, “Sheila’s Craft & Stationary.” Along with that notebook, there was a drawing pad, 5 odd pens and 10 odd pencils in the drawer.

Tabitha, when she heard the news about her friend and her daughter who would be coming to stay with her, went shopping to outfit the room that she would give to Desmin. She wanted her to have the best. Tabitha was a simple person, so she didn’t go all out. She wasn’t given to excess. But still liked nice things. Her parents had been well off and her mother had been overindulgent in her whims which included shopping unnecessarily too often. Her mother had purchased way too many things. Her father had let her mother get away with it; they had had the means for sure. But watching her mother and even being dragged along on an occasional shopping trip in the summer, after school had been let out. She remembered how tiring it was to shop for hours on end and to buy knick-knacks, sculptures, antiques, vases, rugs, chandeliers, shoes, clothes, fur coats, purses and other various-sized bag, kitchen gadgets (that her mother never used anyway), diamonds, tennis bracelets, fancy intricate watches, and the list would go on. Any way she looked at the excessive tendencies as something she didn’t want in her life. Everything she bought has a definite purpose and was used often enough to justify its purchase.

Desmin had noticed that everything was neat and tidy in the house. Her room was a simple white room with white furniture and a bright window that let in a lot of light. The desk was simple, too, with one large drawer underneath and four straight legs. The color was also white. She began to write in the green walrus notebook. Her hand brushed furiously against the page as her hand held tightly to the pen. The writing started to swallow up the page and seemingly in an instant the page was half full. Some much vigor was exerted that beads of sweat began to line Desmin’s forehead. Upon completion of the page, she collapsed down upon the desk. Her head made a light thud as it hit the table. Her head was facing the left-handed direction; she peered out underneath her arms. It was all dark except the light that came through from the light of the room. Her arms were covering her head. A long flowing fabric hanging of a personage was held in her field of vision.